I have failed. What next?

After a great deal of struggle, I am admitting that I have failed.  I've taken classes from a Unitarian-Universalist seminary, Starr King School for the Ministry, that have been both interesting and truly life changing.  Unfortunately, it has led to my understanding of the culture of Unitarianism and the realization that I don't particularly care for them and that there is no way that will accept the person that I am.  While I still identify with the Universalist side of the faith and think the few Universalists left might actually accept me, the Unitarians have been the overwhelmingly dominant force since the first day the "consolidation" (think merger with slightly different legal ramifications).

Since the election of its current president, Peter Morales, the UUA has become very politically active and is taking stands that are diametrically opposed to my own, many of which they base on statements from the liberal press that are demonstratively false.  I don't know whether I would call Unitarians low information voters, or voters who are working with dramatically incorrect information.

Most recently president Morales has released a statement calling for U.S. involvement in Syria that included weasel words about hoping to avoid violence.  Right, he's in favor of sending in the military "if necessary'.  I'm completely against America continuing our involvement in the Middle East.  We have a history of supplying arms to both side of the conflict, which just increases the body count.  We have also been sending lots of American troops in under Rules of Engagement that are not only making our troops ineffective, they are getting our soldiers killed.

The latest issue of UU World includes an essay from a UU minister about how Trayvon Martin was murdered by George Zimmerman.  Obviously she did not actually look at the evidence that came out in court or the various laws involved.  She parroted the anti "Stand Your Ground" rhetoric that is so popular in liberal circles, even though Florida's "Stand Your Ground Law" had nothing to do with the case.  She ridiculed the idea of a sidewalk being used as a deadly weapon even though there are numerous cases where people have been killed, including police officers, by attackers slamming their head into a sidewalk.

The latest issue of UU World also includes an article on sexual misconduct by ministers.  Naturally this followed the liberal narrative by using an example of a male minister and a female congregation member.  This strikes a bit close to home as the former minister of a church I used to belong to gave up her Ministerial Fellowship after the second time in her career as a minister she was brought up on sexual misconduct issues involving a woman in the congregation.

President Morales (notice the last name) is also promoting the cause of illegal aliens, excuse me, "undocumented immigrants" in the United States.  Personally I think anyone who breaks American law to get here is probably a very bad choice for becoming a citizen.  In addition, they are displacing huge numbers of citizens who are on the low end of the job scale.  Plus, a huge percentage of them are receiving various forms of assistance (welfare) that is paid for by Americans.  Unlike the GLBT effort of the past few decades, these people will never become members of the church.  Personally, I'm in favor of shipping them back quickly.

In 1979 the Unitarian Universalist Association started a campaign to create "Welcoming Congregations" to ensure that GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender) folks were welcome in the churches and to encourage them to join.  I think this was a wonderful idea and it did see great success.  However, over the decades it has morphed into a worship of GLBT folks that sees their issues getting far greater attention than others.  Overall, Unitarian churches have a low level dislike and disapproval of straight white males and the Ministerial Fellowship Committee has a strong prejudice against people like me.  I've spoken with a straight white male who went through the process and he certainly did experience this as well.  He has since founded an independent church that is not affiliated with the UUA.

Unitarians also seem to be somewhat passively anti family.  With all the "you go grrl!" rhetoric that actively discourages women from being wives and mothers to a fairly active stance that fathers are irrelevant, families are marginalized.  Unless of course, it's a lesbian couple who have had a baby through artificial means.

Unitarians have also become very anti-male.  It became obvious after attending a number of church services around the country that there was a fairly strong bias against men, unless the man is gay.  Pretty much in line with the liberal media.  This is another area where Unitarians really don't want to hear the truth, they would rather rage against "The Patriarchy".

Unsurprisingly, Unitarians are also very pro abortion and believe that fathers have no rights when it comes to children, born or unborn.  Personally, I don't think abortion is a good thing, but sometimes all other paths are worse.

American Unitarians (and in this case I use the word in strong contrast to Universalists) have a long history of helping "those people over there".  People who rich urban liberal can pity and feel superior to.  This does go back to at least the 18th century in Boston.  Unlike the Universalists, Unitarians would prefer that the common folk stay in their places.

While Unitarians claim to be liberal, they are actually very closeminded, intolerant and bigoted along very politically correct lines.  I have been welcomed much more at Pentecostal churches that I have visited than Unitarian churches I have visited.

So, I have failed.  It is obvious that I have no future with the Unitarians.  My personal theology is much more Universalist and my beliefs reach beyond the limits of Christianity.  I am still looking for alternative paths to gaining the skills and resources to help others, to minister to those in need, particularly those who are overlooked in modern society.  There are a lot of people in serious spiritual pain and I want to be able to help at least a few of them.  I have lost my way and I'm tying to find it again.

I doubt if more than half a dozen people in the world will ever read this, but just putting my thoughts down in words has been a beneficial exercise for me.

Not going to church tomorrow

I'm not going to church tomorrow. With this evening's verdict, there will be yet another reason for more bile and hatred from the pulpit for people like me, straight white males.

I've actually taken seminary classes and I did find them to be life changing. I have also come to realize that the school would kick me out once they found out more about my political beliefs. Things like being an NRA Life Member, being the proud holder of a Rifleman patch from the Appleseed project and being a straight white male. Even if I did make it through to get a M. Div., the Ministerial Fellowship Comittee would never accept me because of my political, not theological, beliefs.

Do I feel a call? Absolutely and it sucks. I still feel driven to become a minister so that I can help others in need, so I can bring peace to some troubled souls. I'm just at a real loss on how to proceed.

I'm not suffering a crisis of faith, my faith is stronger than it has ever been, but my beliefs in churches are weaker than ever.

I'm really struggling.